versus

25.

Yesterday, a thought struck to me to start digging through old photos. Sudden inspirations come to me now and then, when I think about redecorating my room or just plain readjustments. I flipped through a whole lot of them, aged and yellow. And memories started flooding through. Back then, back when.

I chose two favorites and stuck them to my wall. Permanent.

Some weekends ago, the family and I did the annual trip to the temple to visit my dad. Past years, I've done my own trips to the memoriam at Mandai. But this year, out of convenience, a visit to the temples sufficed instead. Either way, never a trip do I not shed a tear. 25th May. A memory of loss, and a reminder of regret. A date never forgotten. I remember it happening as if it just happened yesterday. At that moment, I felt shattered all over again.

I miss you daddy. Very much. I still very much do.

Four days to my 25th. The damned number, 25.

I could do with none of it anymore.

2-

"YOUR 20’S ARE YOUR ‘SELFISH’ YEARS. IT’S A DECADE TO IMMERSE YOURSELF IN EVERY SINGLE THING POSSIBLE. BE SELFISH WITH YOUR TIME, AND ALL THE ASPECTS OF YOU. TINKER WITH SHIT, TRAVEL, EXPLORE, LOVE A LOT, LOVE A LITTLE, AND NEVER TOUCH THE GROUND."

Kyoko Escamilla

The 20 Things You Need To Accomplish In Your 20s

1. Support yourself - Finally leaving the nest and flying on your own can be difficult at first — so I understand the reluctance. Nevertheless, there is no reason to be nearing your 30s and still living off mom and dad’s dime. If you can’t support yourself financially, then you have not learned how to survive. You must become a survivor.

2. Get your own place - Living with mom and dad is free and living with roomies can be fun. But everyone ought to live on their own for at least part of their life in order to better get to know themselves. If you’re lucky, you will fall in love and get married one day. Then the possibility of being alone becomes a distant memory — or a costly divorce.

3. Date the wrong person - I am a strong believer that in order to date the right person, you first have to date the wrong person. Otherwise you will always question whether or not you made the right decision by committing. Dating can be pricy, so you may just want to skip the dinner and just sleep around a bit.

4. Begin to put money in the bank & learn to leave it there - There are much more lucrative, albeit riskier ways of investing your money. Putting your money into the bank, however, is a good practice to learn. It is always good to have a bit of funds on hand for an emergency. You should be able to put some savings away in your 20s.

5. Get out of debt - Before you can save money or create wealth, you first must get yourself out of debt. Debt not only grows as the years go by, it also gets heavier on your mind. The stress of having a debt hanging over your head will give you is too much distraction from what is important.

6. Clearly outline your life goals - Your 20s are a time to figure out which direction you wish your life to go. What goals do you wish to accomplish and what steps will you take to get there? This the time to define what is most important to you and to promise yourself that you will do all you can to attain all that you wish for.

7. Learn to read regularly - Learning is not just something that you do while in school. Human beings should never stop learning. We were blessed with intellect superior to all other animals and we would be failing to live up to our abilities were we to allow our minds to become stale and slow. We need to keep our minds fit and perform mental exercises. One of the best ways is to read every day. 

8. Learn to keep up to date with current events - There is a world outside you that goes beyond that which you see and do. There are other people on this planet — people that you share a common bond with. Knowing what the human race is doing — all the good and all the awful — is an important part of understanding life. Knowing what is going on overseas may help you better understand why you are experiencing what you yourself are experiencing. If you haven’t learned to read a newspaper regularly — cough cough, Elitedaily.com — then you should get used to doing so before you hit 30.

9. Get that body you always dreamed of - Getting into shape gets harder the older you get. I know you planned on starting your diet tomorrow, but before you know it you’ll be turning 70 tomorrow. Have you ever tried to get into shape for the first time at 70? Me neither, but it must suck.

10. Find work that you love doing - The key is to do what you love and love what you do. If your work doesn’t give meaning to your life, which honor may very well be reserved for your friends and family, then it must at the very least not make your life more unpleasant. The perfect job is out there for you. Figure out what that is while your age still starts with the number 2. Once you hit 30, it will be more difficult to get hired without any previous experience.

11. Surround yourself with people you would like to keep around - Having close friends are important. Building a trusting relationship with someone takes years, so it’s best to get crackin’. Do people make new friends in their 30s?

12. Reestablish your connection with your family - Keeping on good terms with your family is important — if possible, of course. I understand that not everyone is allotted the luxury of good parents, but for those of us that were ought to try to keep in touch as much as possible. Even if you were never much of a family person, as I wasn’t, if you plan on having a family of your own one day, you’ll want to be adding onto an already solid family tree.

13. Outline your perfect partner - Some believe that it’s best to leave love to chance or fate. I, on the other hand, believe that loving is a decision and not some completely random, unexplainable concept. You may not be able to find a woman that matches your dream woman 100%, but you should have a good idea of what you do want in a partner and what you don’t want — as well as how important each characteristic or lack of is to you.

14. Learn to adapt - We must all embrace change — the sooner the better. Change occurs constantly and unless we learn to change along with it, we will get left behind. Sticking to the ways of the past finds you living a life unfit for reality, but rather fit for a time that once was. The longer you wait to embrace change, the more difficult it will be to change your ways and habits.

15. Start to accumulate a fortune - I don’t know about all of you, but I plan on being a billionaire. If you are to become a billionaire, you will have to become a millionaire first. Hit that first million by 30 and your first billion by 40.

16. Learn to dress well - People judge you on how you look and how you dress. Wearing the right clothing for each occasion will make whatever you wish to accomplish a bit easier — in the very least it will only work to your benefit and not against you as would dressing poorly or inappropriately. Women need to learn how to wear dresses and walk in heels (walk, not waddle) and men should get comfortable in a suit. No matter who you are, there will be at the very least several times that you will need to dress to impress.

17. Learn to maintain your body - Exercise is important. And so are all the grooming tasks that a person should learn to maintain throughout the years. Looking tidy, organized and well trimmed becomes more and more important the older you become. You may not feel the need to trim those nose hairs now, but you will when you are 50. This goes for both men and women.

18. Learn to maintain & keep your environment organized - Your personal home environment very much reflects who you are as a person, who you are inside. If your surroundings are hectic, you are likely to feel inner tension. If your surroundings are neat and peaceful, your mind most likely experiences the same peace. If you want to find and maintain peace, then you must manifest your inner peace in your outer surroundings.

19. Accept that you are an adult - By the time that you reach 27 years of age there should be no doubt in your mind that you have reached adulthood. This is the time to accept that you are an adult and that it is time to act like one. This does not necessarily mean to tone down your crazy escapades, but it may. In your 20s you need to come to terms with being your own master and taking responsibility for your decisions and your life.

20. Let go of the past & look forward to the future - By the age of 29, there will be many things that you will accomplish and there will be things that you failed at. You must learn to let go of your failures and learn from them. You must not think about what you could have or should have done, but rather what you will do next. The 30s are the new 20s, so get your shit together and make something of the next decade!

PAUL HUDSON

  Five more to go.

and the rest of the world.

I never thought much of travels before, happy enough to experience the beauties through a flick of a page. But ever since I started, it caught my heart. I've always been that curious kid, that secretly history junkie; I've always like learning new things; and I've always sought for that amazing spark that wondrous things do to you. Travels never cease to amaze me. We see so much beauty now through pictures, are they really so in real life? Or better? How is like for people on the other side? What is life to them? Cultures are always such eye-opening experiences, one that I never really get sick of knowing and experiencing. What are the places that are yet undiscovered? Whatever it is, I'd like to be there to see it for myself. There's just so much. So much to see, so much to touch, so much more to imprint in this small memory space of ours.

My head is usually full of thoughts. Random, thoughtful, or even the questionable. More than often it wanders off to a world of its own. If only traveling was that easy too, or transporting via Floo Powder or a Porter Key was ever possible. I haven't been to many places yet, but blessed enough to have seen a few. If safety issues were never much a concern, I'd be happy to bump off somewhere alone. I even wish to see home in Canada where I once came from as a child. I often question myself, when is it my turn? When can I go? Time is running fast, and so much to do. And sometimes for a quiet moment I wish there was that someone special to bring those memories home with. But I'm impatient. And I want to see more as soon as possible. I don't like waiting, never have. So we go back to thinking about it. Full of thoughts.

There are so many places that I would love to visit. Rome, New York, Amsterdam, Athens, Prague, Barcelona, Rio de Janeiro,  Saint Petersburg, Santorini.... just to name a few as my mind whirls in speed. 

Perhaps it'll be a dream for tonight. To dream of a world of a lifetime.

Till then.

mother's day

Mother's Day last weekend. My family and I mistook the dates and had assumed the previous week instead. But all's good. We ate, we laughed. My family never really dines out except for the odd yearly occasions. The past few celebration meals have been the usual 'zi char' food you get at hawker centres and I kind of got sick of those. I've been trying to stir a change in that despite a heavier poke to the wallet. Bringing the fam to try some new places instills a little more excitement I suppose, and thus far my choices have been agreed upon. So for Mother's Day dinner, I brought the girlies to my favorite Japanese restaurant, Sushi Tei. Okay so I cheated a little, I have 20 percent off for the month for my membership and incidentally birthday month, but hey I love the place. Couldn't resist a few bites of ice cream after, so I dragged the lot to Island Creamery. I've since been a convert, love love love the flavors. Pulut Hitam, Burnt Caramel, Jia Jia and whatnots, yum. If only ice cream didn't add on the damned calories...

Last week was the actual occasion, and at last minute the youngest sis and I decided to bake a cake for the fun of it and also for mom as part of the celebration. Turned out pretty much like brownie in the end, and the cake cracked a lot hence the crumbling. The picture does the real thing a whole lot more justice (thank you photo-editing apps), trust me. But still, they turned out really chocolate-y and good if I say so myself. Sometimes the ugliest stuff makes the best sort of food. I'm pretty interested in all this baking shit at times, but its really just the calories that stop me from doing it. Sulk.

Things have been kinda different now at home. Mom talks a lot more often and I've learnt to appreciate her more. Sure, I still have my odd frustrated tantrums thrown about, but I try to hold it in more now. I see how life has been unfair to her in many ways, and I try to understand that. And I try to offer and contribute at times too. I just secretly hope mom will meet a really rich and nice old dude and be happy for the rest of her life HAHA. I kid I kid. Or maybe not.

Yeah, love you too mom.

feast beast

One of those weekends when we ate and laughed too much. Brunch had been at Peperoni Pizzeria @ Binjai Park, which I could say probably one of my new favorite places. Awesome food and great place to chill with a bunch of buddies. Thinking about it makes me hungry for pasta already, yum. Ice cream after at Island Creamery. I used to dislike the overrated parlour for its crammed atmosphere with independent school students, and lack of favorable flavors to choose from. So maybe they've tweaked the flavor choices over the years, and now they're pretty damn awesome to me, Teh Tarik, Pulut Hitam and Burnt Caramel amongst one of my few favorites. Not exactly friendly to my waistline at all man. Diet woes continued.

the more we sing together

So the company has one of those Recreational Committee things, and just so happens I was selected this year as my team's representative. Boo to the new comer sucker as always. I work well with teams in general, but in all honesty I'm pretty much the worst kind at these bonding activities. Maybe its the 'too cool for school' thing in me, and I just can't bother in any participation. Not to say that I am cool don't get me wrong here, its just the attitude.

Well anyway, back to topic. So last Friday we organised a karaoke session for the staff members, held at Chevron. After work hours. I hate karaoke, sulks. And I'm the photographer for the RC team this year (gotta choose the easiest job possible yo). Not many turned up, but for those who did, made the event bearable enough. I'd say there sure are some pretty good singers out there. Of course I myself didn't sing any, always happy to blend into the background. Just snapping photos kept me busy and satisfied enough.

Caught Iron Man 3 after. You know how much I love me some Stark, so obviously I was super excited about the movie. I don't give a shit if people think crap of the movie, cause I'd enjoy it all the same. Love love love RDJ. And I did, as always. I can't wait for the next one already. if there is one, and The Avengers 2. So I guess I really do have that inner geek in me. Or maybe its just the hot men as superheroes.